The New Kid

Tears and sobbing. A new student loses his brave face on the last day of his first week in a new school. His mother tries to leave the classroom, but he hangs on to her body with all his strength. I stand at the door with her; she is outside, and I am inside. She looks at me for some hope and magic distraction to get her son inside so she can be on time for her Ph.D seminar at SFU. I have no experience in these matters, and the inner me is shrugging, while the outer me is trying to maintain a sense of control. I can’t think of anything to say that will help –drawing a blank. The children are starting to wonder what is going on. Then the magic words come to me (I can’t believe that I said this, in retrospect), “Do you want to bring him back after lunch?” I cringe at this response immediately, knowing that this will not help at all, but that I just said something for the sake of saying something.

The situation was becoming an uncomfortable imbalance of power, with most of it being exercised by a child of a mere 45lbs. A look of despair flashes across the mother’s face, and a more experienced teacher steps in to the rescue. Her years of teaching come through and she handles the situation beautifully, transferring the ownership of the little boy’s feelings into his own hands, and empowering him to decide to be a part of the class. Instead of two adults telling him that he should want to be in the class and to just think about all the intangible fun he would be missing out on if he went home, the boy was now enabled to decide what he wanted to do on his own terms. Mrs. Pugliese had certainly dealt with this situation before, and transferring the power to the child instead of him having to fight for it was an inclusive and pedagogically informed way to achieve the desired result. I am just thankful that I didn’t end up in tears after all was said and done. There is much to be said about experience!