Married in Benin

It is unbearably hot on the 10^th floor of the Pavillon Marie-Alphonse Parent. My window is open and I am trying to get a cross-breeze flowing through my room by keeping the door propped open with an extra chair. I brush some hair from my face, and my fingers glide effortlessly over the viscous layer of sweat on my forehead. A knock on my open door startles me from my hazy afternoon news fix. A man from Benin introduces himself en français, and proceeds to ask me a question that I did not understand. ‘Plus lentement, s.v.p’, I respond timidly. He repeats himself, and I still do not understand. Thankfully, another girl walks by and he asks her the question, she responds, he says goodbye to me, and I go back to my article on www.bbc.co.uk .

About an hour later (and several degrees cooler in my room), the man returns and asks me if I would have dinner with him that evening. ‘Mais, je parle un peu francais seulement’ I reply. Apparently this was not a problem. We walk to the campus pub and have some pizza. After only 2 or 3 minutes of talking, it becomes obvious that he can speak less English than I can speak French.At last! I finally find myself in a situation where switching to English is not an option, I am really out to sea now! Only minutes after my premature exhilaration of jumping on the français bandwagon I realize that I have exhausted the extent of my conversational ability. Once he finished asking the basic questions: where are you from, why are you learning French, what do you do for work, what did you study, how old are you, what activities do you enjoy etc, I could no longer understand what he was talking about.Language anxiety kicks in and suddenly I understand nothing.

Despite many warnings, I utilize the "oui" strategy for participating in conversation. Questions and statements are flying my way, and I smile, nod, and say “oui” in as many different inflections and tones as possible in order to diversify my current range of communication. Evidently there are good reasons why one should not rely on the “oui” method of language anxiety compensation. As I walk past another table on my way to the bathroom, a girl from the Explore program who is wearing a yellow wrist band says, “Hey, you don’t really speak French, eh? I think you should probably stop saying ‘oui’ right now because I am pretty your new friend asked you if you’d ever consider the following: Moving to Benin, adopting his 11 year old son, and getting married; to which you replied “Mais, oui!”

No wonder he picked up the bill!!!